He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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