Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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