Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
