We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
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Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
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You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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