we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
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Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
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I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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