you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
