Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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