He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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