I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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