The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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