wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
