So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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