smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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