I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
