I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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