Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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