This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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