I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Enjoy the penises
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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