I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
