State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
