I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
