You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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