i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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