just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
