theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize