you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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