Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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