She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
