I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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