East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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