You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
i think my cat just said my name.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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