Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
