I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
