i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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