My room smells like vodka and shame
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
