Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
