I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
