oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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