so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
