Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
