I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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