We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
All the doctor said was why
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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