His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize