I just cut my nipple shaving
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
