shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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