Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
