the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I enjoy the company of your penis
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
