i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
