he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
