happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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