i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
