the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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