we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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