Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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