I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
