fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
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