Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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