Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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